Quotable Kids #3

Last week, my grandmother had knee surgery and I have been subbing in the library for her. So now, my edition of Quotable Kids has expanded from grades 5-8 to include all grades.




(Jobie is in the 2nd grade)
Me: Oh! I like this book about presidents
Jobie: Me too, I like presidents a lot
Me: Do you want to be president someday?
Jobie: No, I don't want to get shot at


Me: Evan, what are you doing with the dictionary?
Evan: Looking up the word 'douchebag'. Jeff called me that and I don't know what it means.


Me: Courtney, you drew a tower for yourself and a tower for your boyfriend?
Courtney: Well yea, we can't share a tower 'til we get married


Me: Now, when you draw your castles, you cannot have any weapons
Stephen: Well, I guess I have to erase my torture chamber


Me: You learn a lot of different things in college
Abby: Did you learn how to play beer pong in college?


Stephen: I'm on Team Jacob since that Edward guy looks like he doesn't wash his hair.


(while on playground duty, I watched the 4th and 5th grade boys play basketball. Mitch blocked Alex's shot) Mitch: Watch out. I'm like the next Jason Love."


Stephen: If I ever get a therapist, I'll tell her how nice you were to me.


Me: So because you got all your AR points this month, if you want to bring in a snack and a drink to have while we watch Harry Potter, that's okay
Joseph: Like pop?
Me: Yes, of course
Mitch: What about beer?
Me: No, Mitch. No one is this classroom is allowed to drink beer
Mitch: You are! You drink beer! Jeff told me you do!
Me: I don't drink it here!
Mitch: So what do you drink out of that thermos then?