My my, it's finally come to an end.
2009 was quite the year, and, for the first time, it was a year that felt like it actually lasted a year. So much happened between January and now and it's hard to really put them all into words.
I think one of the greatest things is the fact that I am in a much better place at the end of the year than I was at the beginning of the year. In January I was on the verge of turning 22, I was surrounding myself with people who were bad for my emotional well-being (and that's all I'm going to say on that subject). I wasn't taking very good care of myself, I had a lot of anxiety. I didn't sleep much and I ate sporadically. I drank a lot. Three nights a week minimum, which is kind of sad. I had finished a terrible semester and had resolved to do better in school. I was pretty unsure of what I wanted to do right after school. I knew I wanted to be a teacher but I wasn't quite sure of how to go about it. I had lots of fun senior year, but it was a true challenge in a lot of ways. I ended my tenure at the student newspaper I loved exhausted, bitter and ready for a change.
When May rolled around, I was ecstatic for graduation. I do not care what others say, I thought graduation was a great day. I was truly proud of myself because I got myself my double-major all on my own. I worked really hard (and I played really hard, too). I spent a lot of the last few weeks of senior week being optimistic about life and being continually grateful for all my friends that made my college experience so memorable.
So now I look at my life at the end of 2009 and how it's very different. For one, I no longer live with four other girls my own age, but instead family members. I get up at 6:20 every week day and go into work. I have to pay cell phone bills, I had to buy health insurance, I had to take my car into the shop numerous times and pay for the repairs myself. That was a huge change. I go to staff meetings. I've watched friends get married, I've watched friends have babies and go through just as many, if not more, changes as me.
Many of my friends moved away, though some did stay. I do not go out three nights a week. Instead, it's usually once a week, maybe twice. I get tired at 10:30. I've become a pro at entertaining myself. I've begun to watch channels on YouTube, I watch prime time TV for the first time in years, I go to the movies by myself. I go out to eat alone, too. I read a lot. I write...hell, I wrote a whole novel in 2009! That's something to be proud of.
Minus the year I went to college, this year has been the biggest year of change in my life, both externally and internally. I picked myself up by my bootstraps and took care of myself before anyone else and that was important for me to do. I graduated with the best grades I ever had. I picked out a lot of weeds, and kept many of the flowers.
And those beautiful, wild, and all around glorious flowers were the friends that stuck with me when I was pretty irritable/emo/frustrated/lost. I've taken my loneliness and have turned it into good things. I'm okay with where I am in my life and where I'm going and to say that at age 22 is pretty awesome.
Every day I get to get up, and that's the part I hate the most, the getting up, mostly because I can never seem to get enough sleep. Once that's over with, I truly enjoy almost every day of my life. I have 40 little "Chostskys" who I love, or at least tolerate, and they have taught me a lot, too. Plus, they always make me smile when I'm having a bad day.
So, I raise my glass to toast to 2009, a year that was a much needed challenge. It's come and gone, and now there's a lot to look forward to. Bring on 2010. Happy New Year, readers!
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