Another Serious Moment

So I've definitely been neglecting the blog since moving back to Colorado. I have no excuse, really, except to say I've felt less compelled to write in it so I simply haven't. There isn't much to say, really.

Since moving home I've had a hell of a time finding a job. There's been lots of interviews, a few misleading phone calls, broken promises, and networking opportunities that looked hopeful, but didn't end up panning out. I was pretty downtrodden and frustrated. I was in full swing of the Emily pity parade and I let everyone know how pissed off I was.

I was in the Arvada area and decided to stop by my grade school church, Shrine of St. Anne. I haven't been to St. Anne's in years, yet I think about the place a lot. I would not say I'm Catholic anymore, or particularly religious to begin with, but I figured that maybe if I went to a quiet place and asked God for a little help, it wouldn't hurt. I know there's a tiny chapel tucked away in the church that houses all the candles and part of St. Anne's ankle bone (though how they've confirmed this, I have no idea) and I've always wanted to see it.

It was probably the middle of the day when I went in, went to the back chapel, lit a candle, and folded my hands like the little girls in first communion photos, and prayed. I wasn't there long, maybe 15 minutes, and when I came out I saw a man kneeling in one of the pews, his hands clasped together so hard it looked like he was holding on to something valuable. He was talking softly and crying. I couldn't hear anything except for the words 'God,' 'please,' and 'help.'

Here I was thinking I was having a rough time. Clearly something in this man's life was bothering him so much he was emotional. Whatever it was, it was probably something more serious than 'please can I get a job so I can pay for my smartphone, new clothes, and a ski pass.

Think about how many times we use the word 'I' everyday. Or some form of it at least. 'I want a better job' 'I need a new house' 'I've got to stop eating that' 'I want him/her to love me.' Then think about this: odds are, when you're having a tough time, there is someone out there who's having a worse time than you. There's no way to really know, but if anything I do know there are people worse off than me, like people who don't have a job and need one so they can provide for their families, or people living in terrible and sometimes terrifying conditions.

Things will improve for me eventually, they have to, but for the man in the church whatever is wrong in his life may take longer to improve, if at all. Later that week when we have dinner as a family my parents, being good religious people, sometimes make us say a special prayer for someone. Usually I try to think of terrible things that have happened in the news and use that as my special prayer. Lately, my special prayer has been for all the unemployed, including, selfishly, myself. But, for the first time, I felt a real sincerity when I mentioned this man and prayed for him. He needs it more than I do.

Mockingjay: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Recently, the final book in the Hunger Games trilogy was released. I had been looking forward to the release all summer, since I had started the series over a year ago and I was eager to see how it would all end. I read the book in one day and I have lots of opinions on it. There were parts of it that I absolutely adored, parts that I didn't like so much, and parts that were just plain ugly.

**SPOILER ALERT*** If you plan to read the Hunger Games and haven't, don't read any further as there are massive spoilers in here ***END SPOILER ALERT***

The Good

• Katniss saves the day by using her brain. Readers of the series know by now that Suzanne Collins, the author, will throw in a twist of some sort. She did previously and she waited until the last possible minute to throw the biggest loop that made me say 'WHAT?!' At first, I was annoyed that Katniss did not kill President Snow like she desperately wanted to. I really wanted that guy to die at her hands. Instead, he chokes on his own blood and the single arrow meant for him slays Coin. But when I stepped back to think on it, it made complete sense. President Snow was one death's door anyways, and Coin had all the makings of a future dictator that would allow for history to repeat itself. So she ended up making the best decision for all of society in the end. She did what she thought would help prevent this kind of war all over again.
• Katniss choses Peeta, not Gale. Sorry to all the members of Team Gale, but the eerie sibling/cousin comparisons and the fact that something always seemed a little off with Gale never sat well with me. Now, Collins shoved him aside rather quickly, which I have mixed feelings about, but I'm glad Katniss ended up with Peeta. It's not just because Peeta is the more artistic, emotional one, but it's because I see him as someone who balances out Katniss and she needs that. Plus, the kid had been through a hell of a lot in the last book and I really wanted him to catch a friggin' break
• District 13 wasn't some awesome utopia. It would have been easy for Collins to make District 13 out to be some sort of Oasis in Panem, but she didn't. Instead, the world was sort of Orwellian and an interesting personification of the counter reponse to the extravagance and materialism of the Capitol. Perhaps Collins is saying that really a middle ground is what's best.

The Bad

• Love triangle resolution. Poor Gale does get sort of pushed to the side and things are not really wrapped up. It's never made clear if it was his bombs that killed all those children, but maybe we're not supposed to know. I didn't want Katniss to chose him in the end, but I was hoping they would at least have some major fight/discussion instead of such an abrupt dissolution.
• The violence. I'm well aware that war is ugly and characters you like are going to die, but I really could have done without a huge gathering of children all dying terrible, graphic deaths. I already have an issue with reading/watching children suffer (I can't do it, basically) and this was almost too much for me to handle.
  
  

The Ugly

• Unnecessary deaths. DID PRIM REALLY HAVE TO DIE!? That seriously broke my heart and I found it completely unnecessary to plot and Katniss' character development. It was just plain horrific. Plus, I feel super bad for their mother. Hasn't she lost enough? Hasn't Katniss lost enough? Again, I know war is ugly, but seriously. And Finnick. Ouch. It was like the death of Fred Weasley all over again except this time the character had a wife and (eventual) child! Ugh! Breaks my heart.

Overall, I was more satisfied with the conclusion than I expected. I know a lot of people were upset about the love triangle, but frankly I don't think the books are necessarily about that (it's not Twilight!). Instead it's political, dystopian fiction. I would argue that the best book is the first one. It's strange because looking back, that book seems like child's play compared to what happens in the final installment.