March 15, 2010
American Idol Might Be an Actual Shit Show This Year
I try to remind myself that my real life is seperate from the fictional lives of others that I watch on TV. Sometimes I get sad about what happens in the shows, sometimes I love the new directions they go in, other times I wait out weird plot lines because I know good stuff is coming, and evey now and then I give up on a show completely (see Grey's Anatomy).
Today on my way home from work I was thinking about the recent death on Skins (I will refrain from saying who died, but let's just say it was not pretty) and how I had gotten over it in about a day. I look forward to the finale on Thursday. But when I got to thinking about American Idol I got angry.
You see, I've watched American Idol off and on since it first started ten years ago. I am shamelessly a Kelly Clarkson fan (and shamefully a fan of Kris Allen). But now that it's ten years on I have realized the show has made some changes, but they aren't necessarily for the better. Worse yet, America seems to think that they shouldn't vote for people who have talent and should instead vote for people who are 16 or because they feel sorry for them. Lame.
We started out with a top 24 and of those two dozen I liked Alex Lambert, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, Katelyn Epperly and Lily Scott. Guess what...three of those people were sent home on Thursday. So that means there are two left. The one guy who could actually sing in key, had a nice voice, and who's personality didn't make me cringe was sent packing. GRR. ANGER. What's more is that two of the girls who were interestng and unpredictable also came in at the bottom and had to leave. It was literally painful for me to watch. I was so angry and I couldn't figure out why.
Part of me wants to get mad at the show itself, which has been irksome on it's own latey (more on that in a minute). But really I just need to get mad at America because the people who do vote, that fast-texting teens and moms on their couches with nothing else to do really want to see people murder classics such as "Landslide" and current hits such as "Breakaway" more than they want to see some wide-eyed, genuinely nice guy do a beautiful rendition of "Everybody Hurts" on his guitar. GRRR. ANGER. Alex Lambert had the best voice of the male contenders and now that he's gone we're stuck with a bunch of annoying wannabes, a guy who's there just based on looks, another guy with a neck tattoo, and someone who wants to be referred to as 'Big Mike.'
The girls are a different story. A lot of them are talented, but two that were extremely smart and had great voices went home when two that are sorta stupid and have decent voices got to stay. Other than Crystal, Didi and maybe Siobhan Magnus, the rest of the females are utterly forgettable. Where is the talent in all of this?
See, that's the question. Where is the talent? Seems to me that the idol machine has been running as a machine for far too long. It needs a major make-over. I'm actually king of glad Simon is leaving after this season. The guy is honest, and I'll miss all the funny things he says, but the guy still thinks Mariah Carey is the epitome of music and not so Simon! Things have changed since 2000! He seems to think that female contestants should always be able to belt one out or that male contestants must be Clay Aiken-like to really succeed. Well, Simon, you are wrong. He seems to be wrong a lot and it's almost like he's given up and doens't really care anymore. Well fine Simon, don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out.
Ellen, Kara, and Randy all need to be fired too. Let's just do a clean sweep of the judges table. Ellen started strong but she's sometimes obnoxious and sometimes a decent judge. Sometimes doesn't cut it, sweetie! Kara is infuriating because you know she could really critique people yet she flirts a lot of Simon and it's frakin awkward. Randy just sits there and spews nonsensicals.
While we're in the process of getting rid of things, let's get rid of the annoying and painful group numbers. I don't know anyone who likes them. I'm still upset that last year's cast murdered "I'm Yours." It still hurts! Let's get rid of the four judges and go back to three. Let's also get rid of stupid intro packages that show contestants making hair accessories or coloring. This isn't arts and crafts time on PBS! This is a signing competition on Fox!
The show could also use some trimming. I'm tired of the results show taking up so much time. Make it half an hour, fools. Oh, and even though he's annoying, you can keep Seacrest just because he gives lots of people something to talk about. And I liked the process of going from 24 to 12 last year better than this year. The whole elimination thing needs to be overhauled and changed.
The only thing, in my mind, that could save the show is if they throw in some twists to make it interesting. They also need to pick really good theme nights (Tuesdays is "Rolling Stones" night which is top notch I'd say) and have some great mentors. Last year, Jamie Foxx was an awesome mentor. Props to him. They need more like him. How about an evening with Miss Clarkson herself? Or Pharrell Williams? Or Bono? Or Madonna? Or Ryan Murphy from 'Glee'?How awesome would THAT be?!
Basically I'm just tired of American Idol's current set up and I get even more tired of it when it votes off people who are genuinely talented. Though, as sales of Adam Lambert and Kris Allen are proving, Idol is starting to be more and more irrelevant Hmm...we shall see.
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